Well. That's not entirely true anymore.
But for the majority of my life it was true.
It's a word that has so many implied negative connotations for me over the years.
From childhood to college to married life and now fatherhood, I struggle with being disciplined.
It wasn't until about 2 1/2 years ago that I started seeing what could happen when I was disciplined in an area of my life.
I lost 150 lbs and have kept it off for a little over a year now.
I was amazed at how effective a life of discipline was in this area and how, once implemented, it became easier to follow.
God is convicting me, as of late, that discipline shouldn't just be reserved for physical health. We see God telling his people this in Paul's letter to Timothy.
"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." (I Timothy4:8)
Why has it taken me this long to come to this conclusion? I am a slow learner and who I am is constantly in between what I want to be and what I am. But I realize now that specifically prayer is something in which I must be disciplined. Not because I feel like if I regiment myself and pray at four certain times a day God will love me more or I'll get on the 'inside track' to God. But because discipline does truly build character and if I build my character to a constant mindset of prayer, then maybe when stressful times comes I won't make prayer a last resort but a first response.
I'm reading a book right now, it's been out for over a decade, but I haven't read it since college where I started it but never finished it.
Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire.
I am astounded by the power of God when people truly seek God in prayer. And the beautiful thing about these prayers is they weren't full of "please pray for my 2nd cousin, Bobby who lives in Wisconsin, he's dealing with kidney stones."
Though there's nothing wrong with praying for family and health, etc, but I am continually astounded by the spirit of crying out I'm reading about from the Brooklyn Tabernacle in New York. These are people that are crying out from their heart about the brokenness of their neighborhood, and the personal pain and struggle with which they are dealing. In short - these are people who are authentically hurting for their community and who aren't afraid to show themselves as they truly are. This is the kind of authentic heart that time and time again in scripture we see God calling for.
When David was calling out to God after he'd been broken of his sin, he said:
"...a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:7b)
That is what God wants of me. Continual humility. Continual reliance upon His grace and His mercy.
My goal is to have the heart of the Puritan who penned this prayer:
"GREAT GOD
In public and private, sanctuary and home,
may my life be steeped in prayer,
filled with the spirit of grace and supplication
each prayer perfumed with the incense of atoning blood
Help me, defend me until from praying grown
I pass to the realm of unceasing praise." (from Valley of Vision, P. 146)
Ready. Go.
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